Until

I thought I was using all the pieces to push through. 
Until she said she was coming.
There was a possible reason for my mom to spend the night at the house, a medical procedure.  I asked her to stay the night.  But when she said yes - -


The bedroom is MyJamie's.
His bed, his closet full of his clothes.  His dresser and his favorite toys.
The bed linens I haven't changed.  He slept on them.  The bed is made.  Quilt on top.  His favorite pillow case on top.  Now cried on by me so many times.
Pictures of him, his pictures, pictures with Santa.


I keep the door open but I can't go in. I've tried.
When she said she was coming, I went in.  I cried.  I went back in and cried again.  If I go in tonight I'll cry again. 


It's his room.