Same

It feels like the same, day in and day out. I tell myself to call my aunt. Maybe she can help. I don't call her. I tell myself to call my friend M.H. Maybe she can help. I don't call her. I tell myself to call my friend. Maybe she can help. I don't call her. Their own loved ones have died, they have their own grief. They can't change their lives. They can't change mine. What good will it do for me to call them and tell them I'm sad? What good will it do to call them and ask when it gets better? When does it change? I saw a Tik Tok a few days ago, or was it a Tumblr? They're all the same anyway. Would I do it all over again? Yes, yes, I would. If I knew then what I know now, how my heart would break, I would do it again. Mainly the only things I would do different are the things you learn in hindsight, but I did most of it right. I made choices to spend time with him. I made choices to choose him. I made choices to include him. To be included by him. I made choices that he knew he was loved and wanted and cared about and cared for. I made choices to spend time with him. To give him my time. To get up on my days off and be with him. To plan time with him. To prepare time with him. I made choices.