Life is Playing Games with Me

I'm not sure how to do this, or why. I spend my days thinking fondly of my husband and anticipating talking with him at night, but then at night my body feels completely too tired to maintain a conversation. I anticipate enjoying spending the weekend with him, but then am too sad to enjoy anything. He wants to go on vacation, I do not want to go anywhere. We went somewhere 2 months ago, stayed one day and came home. I would prefer to not go again. But I don't think that's the way I can plan to live. So I'll pack and go. He wants to talk the entire time, I do not. I think he's trying to fill the sound of silence, I want to lean into it. It's all a trick.